Confessions of Crypto Bubulle

Those of you who follow me may have noticed through some of my posts on social networks. I created my blog after a work accident due to a Burn Out. After a final visit to the emergency room this week, the diagnosis is more severe than originally thought. My tyroid seems to be affected and the effects are unfortunately more serious and long lasting than expected.

The consequences of this Burn Out, which I tried to minimize as much as possible, are not to be minimized, on the contrary. Initially the recovery time was estimated at 2-3 months, today, doctors speak of at least a year.

The good news is that my passion for cryptocurrency and mining is a support and the creation of my blog a lifeline to not sink. I love what I do and share with you, the values I carry, and I have several very exciting projects around the blog such as creating a YouTube and Twitch channel, organizing meetups in Chambéry on the theme of Crypto etc

I thought I was a bit of a Superman and able to do and learn everything on my own, but I had to realize that I would need help and support for this adventure. If this new activity, which is only a hobby for the moment, gives me strength, it also presses on my weaknesses.

But how did I get here?

We'll call this phenomenon severe burnout, overwork or burnout, whatever. My downward spiral has taken place over the last two years, and until now I hadn't dared to admit or realise the seriousness and consequences of this somewhat trivialised term - perhaps out of fear, a little, and out of guilt: it was very difficult for me to imagine that this could happen to me. Losing my footing and all my strength in this way, as if it made me a fragile little thing, when like many of you, my activity and therefore my income were the pillar of my family's standard of living. To admit this was to admit my personal failure and the consequences for my family.

Today, I wanted to tell you about what I am going through, not only to explain why I am asking for your help (technical, moral, financial for the blog), but also because I believe my experience is fairly representative of a real societal problem, which it is interesting to highlight - particularly in our relationship to work, to performance, to our involvement in the companies that employ us with exponential pressure and counterparts to the legal minimums.

With this testimony, I hope that some people will reach out to me, that others will realise before it is too late that they are going down the same path, and that they will be able to save themselves. Contrary to what I may have foolishly felt, there is no shame in going through this kind of thing, and I believe it is always beneficial to be able to talk about it.

Don't worry, everything is under control, I am already doing my best to recover and I am well surrounded.

OVERWORK: MY SYMPTOMS

Like most people, Burn Out didn't just suddenly come into my life. I have been feeling increasingly exhausted for months, even years, feeling like I am approaching 100 years of age when I have just turned 45. However, my friends and family have seen me change during this time, even though I listened to them at the time, I thought I was capable of more and that my body and mind would adapt. I tried to follow their advice by trying to rest (in vain and too little) and I ended up quickly falling back into the same pattern. All the more so as my employer, knowing that I never said no, increased my workload. Until one day, when I was away on business, what had to happen happened and the accumulation of symptoms suddenly exploded like a pressure cooker. In a split second, my body and mind went into "OFF" mode and I woke up in the hospital.

I had reached a level of fatigue with 15 hour days and 5 hour nights that was no longer acceptable. My whole body was sounding the alarm. There are various possible signs of burnout (don't hesitate to talk to your doctor), but here are the ones I personally noticed:

Why at this point you might ask? The answers were not very difficult to find, because basically, despite my excesses, I was always very aware that I was reaching the limits of my capacities. I had even envisaged that it might get to the point where my life itself was threatened. I had anticipated this by taking out life insurance for my family, just in case!

However, I want to reassure you that to distinguish it from depression, this eventuality was accidental and not voluntary. In other words, I value life and had no suicidal thoughts.

According to my doctor, I am a "personality at risk" for professional burnout, because I naturally tend to make it a point of honour to keep my commitments, to do my job as well as possible for my employer, that if necessary I sacrifice my health in a "corportate spirit".

AN OVERLOAD OF WORK FOR THE BENEFIT OF AN UNGRATEFUL EMPLOYER

Beyond these more psychological aspects, my activity imposed on me an excessive workload, nights of several hours, shifting hours and being constantly "outside the law" with regard to the labour code. The Covid19 has not only not reduced the workload but has actually increased it by about 30%. Having already exceeded the maximums of the legislation for several years, this time my employer asked me to break the ceiling to achieve the 'impossible' while telling me that if I wasn't up to it, someone else would do it!

I am learning to accept my share of the responsibility for having accepted and continued, I had the feeling that I was sinking, not because I was asked to do the impossible, but because I was not up to it!

And Now ?

For a few weeks I have been off work to rest, to get out of this hellish spiral, and to give my body time to recover. I am also undergoing treatment to relieve and heal (especially my thyroid). I have doctors monitoring my progress and they have encouraged me to pursue my passion, writing my blog, but setting boundaries and being willing to ask for help. I have also hired a lawyer to ensure that my employer is discouraged from doing it again.

Beyond these recommendations, it also seems essential to me to think in the longer term to try not to fall back into the same pattern in a few months.

So I have to :

Not work for several months. I have no other choice anyway. I'm going to try to enjoy it without feeling guilty, without stressing, and I'm sure it will do me good. It's clear that this real break is necessary to help me recover and rest my mind.

To focus on my Blog and my career change. To positively occupy my mind, open new horizons and banish my old activity forever.

Health & well-being. Resuming boxing, walking more often, starting meditation, reconnecting my body and mind, spending time doing something good for myself with enjoyable activities and above all taking a break whenever I feel the need.

Plan and organise my goals

I have to manage to better separate my personal life from my research and professional reconversion time (the idea being to develop the "Crypto Bubulle" universe in order to be able to make a living from it), to improve my economic model in order to complete my sick leave benefits and to be able to offer myself a little help without believing once again that I can do everything... I don't yet have the strength to implement the whole action plan, so I'm going to take my time, and I'll gladly accept any offer of help as long as it's within my means.

This is where I am today. Realizing and accepting my problem is a first step. I still have some bad habits to break, but overall I feel less anxious because I am aware of my problem. I'm trying to deal with all these challenges little by little, by stalling, and I know that everything will be fine. It will take time, but I am now ready to take it, and that's the main thing!

It is with a certain assumed bitterness that I dedicate this post to those who will recognize themselves in the words that follow. First to my boss, then to those who come to me for help or other things, claim not to have the time or the means to help in return, and then have no qualms about posting on social networks their social success or the time they spent on other things while, free of charge and sometimes at my expense, I tried to support them.

Saying things is part of the process of healing and change. Some things won't change, I am passionate, selfless and couldn't be otherwise, I took it one step at a time, and most importantly, I didn't wait for everything to be perfect to start. I took the plunge when I was ready and if I can be that small encouraging voice in your lives so that you dare to take the plunge too then I will be satisfied. It is important to me to always learn and share something new with you.

Share, comment and watch your loved ones before they get there. It's important!

If you feel that someone around you is on the wrong track, give them this book...

Stay Tuned

Crypto Bubulle